Online Dating Sites — Military life can be complicated, but a person in the military doesn’t need to give up on the idea of dating and finding love. Online dating sites for military personnel and military pen pal sites for military service men and women and the civilians are interested in meeting them are a fantastic resource for men and women to find love and build a lasting relationships while serving their country.
Is an Online Dating Site for Military Personnel Right For You?
I met my husband a few years ago, using an online dating site that specializes in helping military servicemen and women find friendship and true love. And, now I can say that using a specialty online dating site to find my match was the best decision I’ve ever made.
When I met my husband, Cody was a sergeant who had just been deployed. I was a woman who had been alone for several years following the end of a fairly long-term relationship. I was ready to start over and serious about finding the perfect relationship. Almost by chance, I read an article in USA Today: Cupid’s Arrow Land’s in a War Zone.
That article sure got me to thinking!
According to the author, Greg Zorraya, military servicemen and women take relationships darned seriously. They spend more time enjoying online conversations with friends and partners than the average online dater in the United States. And, military servicemen and women can be quite focused and down to earth. They know what they want, aren’t chasing rainbows and, in general, they don’t assume the grass on the other side is always greener.
The article also pointed out that the availability of email, web cams and internet cafes on military bases all around the world make it easy for servicemen and women to get in touch and stay in touch with friends and partners. According to Zorraya, the number of service men and women seeking partners using an online dating site has increased by 56% in past five years.
I also read a convincing explanation for why military personnel make terrific dates written by Gian Gonzaga, an research psychologist. Gian wrote:
The life-altering experience of going to war often focuses the romantic mind. When you are reminded of your own mortality, the theory kind of boils down to you remembering what’s most important to you: Relationships.
Well, I decided to give a military pen pal site a try.
I had nothing to lose, right? Maybe I’d meet someone who was nice, I thought. Maybe, I’d give cheer and comfort to someone stationed overseas, far from friends and family.
Sites like eHarmony and can be expensive although they often offer discount pricing. But don’t let the price scare you away. Dating sites online are extremely popular. New niche sites designed for military personnel and, quite frankly, every lifestyle imaginable, are helping people all over the world connect with each other and build lasting relationships. Many of these sites are free or extremely affordable.
Of course, attraction is key.
But, when you’re thousands of miles apart and getting to know each other online, good conversation is what builds a strong relationship. What’s more, the medium, internet communication technology, encourages communication in a remarkably direct way.
Cody and I were positively attracted to one another, but it was the distance between us and the web technology available through our online dating website, emails, sms texting and a webcam, that led us to talk. And, I mean seriously talk!
Conversation, at first, friendly and flirtatious, became deep and personal; over time, becoming a kind of glue that joined us and led to our marriage.
Cody, longing for life back home, doted on my every word with genuine interest. Never before had I felt so appreciated. As for me, I listened, intensely fascinated, as Cody described his daily routine, sometimes dangerous, sometimes mundane, but always something that I wanted to learn more about and discuss with him.
His everyday experiences, sometimes life and death experiences, drew me to him. I was fierce in my desire to protect him from danger; I was proud of the job he was doing and terrified I might lose him to his work.
Together, we cherished every moment shared online and looked forward to a time when we could talk in each other’s arms with a growing desire.
Now we live together and are in each other’s arms all the time. But, we haven’t forgotten how we fell in love. Talking and listening to each another, reveling in each other’s accomplishments and providing unwavering support for one another when things were less than perfect.
People change. But the key ingredient in our relationship, powerful interpersonal communication survives. I believe that is because we built the relationship online with the help of an online dating service designed for specifically for military servicemen and women and civilians, like me, interested in connecting with someone in the military.
Cody was my best first and last date ever.
Military life can be more complicated than civilian life, but that doesn’t mean that a person in the military needs to give up on the idea of dating and finding love. Online dating for military personnel is a fantastic way to create a lasting relationship.
This is a reasonably new variety of fraud that has surfaced in the Online Dating world. Like 99% of other cons, the intent is to filter money out of you through deception. The scammer will pose as a member of the armed forces and be posted overseas somewhere. Apart from making you feel a sense of obligation to communicate because of the nature of their work they typically have some second tier sob story to tell as well. They play on the fact that women are not only attracted to men in the services but also that they are risking their lives to defend the nation.
I heard of an experience recently where a girl met a guy online who was stationed in a ‘Hot Zone’ in the Middle East. At first she wasn’t really attracted to him but thought it wouldn’t hurt to chat, seeing as he was on active military service.
He told her that his wife had an affair and took off leaving him with an infant daughter who was being cared for by his mother back home. He was particularly good at his job as a con man and before too long this girl was falling for him. They spent hours online together every day for well over a week and slowly reeled her into the con.
Then came the main play, he had some bad news! His unit was moving into a remote area and there wasn’t going to be any Internet service there. He had a plan as to how they could keep in touch. There was a private engineering company near where they would be stationed and they would be able to provide Internet access so they could keep in touch.
He gave her an email address and told her she needed to be very careful with the information for security reasons. She contacted the company and a day or so later received a reply with an attached form asking for her personal details including name, address, phone number and service provider. At this point she should have been a tad concerned but she had already accepted this guy as legitimate.
Unwittingly she filled out the form with both his and her information and returned it to the company. When she received the reply the alarm bells started to ring. The company was asking her to wire $1,500 to a private account to get the service up and running. The penny dropped and she now realized that she had been caught up in a fraudulent event.
Fortunately no money was ever paid but her personal details where now in the hands of an obviously unscrupulous person. Apart from the hurt and humiliation she was embarrassed and angry. It turned out that the deception had actually originated from some organized crime group in Nigeria where these cons are prolific.
As I said, this guy was very good at what he did and had her convinced that he was for real. His English was perfect, he knew geographical landmarks in the area he said he came from, he even knew which airlines serviced connections between where they lived. At no point though did they ever speak over the phone. His English may well have been perfect on-screen but the whole thing couldn’t have worked if there had been any communication by phone or web cam.
This is a relatively easy con to set up! The perpetrator simply accesses a photo of a guy in the military off the Internet, and uses it to set up accounts on Internet dating sites. The money requested was to be paid into a personal account, not an account in a company name, and that alone would have been a red flag!
On top of everything else you have to spare a thought for the soldiers who’s photos are used. Essentially their identity has been stolen so they become victims as well. They would have no idea that their photos are being used in this way.
For warned is for armed, be careful of any contact with military service personal as this type of fraud is being reported with increasing regularity. I feel sorry for the guys in service who are actually legitimate users of Online Dating sites, there is a certain stigma attached now and they will be scrutinized more than any other potential partners as a result.
I have heard of other variants to this military scam, they work in much the same way as the Nigerian method. I was told about a girl who met a guy in the Army that was also stationed in the Middle East. He used a different approach that was all about siphoning money. He told the girl he had been chatting with that they weren’t able to cash their pay checks where they were and asked if he sent it to her would she cash it and wire him the money.
The way this works is simple, they talk the victim into sending the money before they actually receive the proceeds from the cleared check for some reasonably valid reason. They may be short on funds, or owe someone money. When the check arrives and the attempt is made to cash it the scam is complete as it will inevitably be fraudulent and there will be no funds in the account.
It’s sad that these guys who are serving overseas have been drawn into this crime. They are over seas risking all to protect us and keep us safe. It would be a lonely occupation and the online connection with potential partners would be very important to them.
This con taints their general credibility and will make it harder in the future for them to make connections. It’s a real shame, and even though it’s important to be aware, always spare a thought for the guys in service around the world. Be careful if you are approached by a military man but don’t assume they are all con men out to get your money.