Military Marriage Issues

Military Marriage Issues

Military Marriage — You’re in the military and want to get married, what do you need to do?
Well, if you’re stationed back home, there are no special requirements and you only need to comply with the laws of the State within which you are getting married. Typically, get a marriage license, maybe satisfy a residency test and find an authorized officiant to perform the service.

Getting married while stationed in the US is obviously a straight-forward affair – there is no need to gain special permission or clear any hurdles other than those facing civilians.

The issue becomes less straight forward when you are based overseas. Even more so if your bride or groom-to-be are foreign nationals.

If you are based overseas but marrying a US citizen, the situation is not much more different than getting married in the States. If you get married on a US base, you are subject to US law in any event and the marriage is viewed as having taken place on US soil in any event.

Getting married on base is fairly common where there is a permanent station, typically in the European or Pacific theaters (not so common in the Middle East for obvious reasons). Base chaplains are able to officiate in a wide variety of denominational and non-denominational ceremonies, so you can get married however you wish.

There are also no immigration issues where both parties are U.S. citizens, but here comes the real trouble – your intended spouse is a foreign national.

If you are marrying a foreign national, you will be required to complete a large number of forms and embark on quite a lengthy process.

Your intended spouse will be required to undergo a background security check and a medical examination, all in addition to completing marriage counseling course and obtaining the permission of your commanding officer. Be prepared to spend months on this process, not least because you will have to have the marriage recognized by the U.S. Embassy and the U.S. Department of State who will also be responsible for the granting of the necessary visa permissions for your spouse to enter the U.S.

Your spouse is also likely to be a civilian, but irrespective of where you get married or who performs the ceremony, they are now entitled to military rights and privileges which they derive from you. Use a certified copy of the marriage certificate and register the marriage and your spouse with the Base Personnel HQ.

You will also be able to get a separate military ID for your civilian spouse and have them enrolled in the Defense Eligibility Enrollment Reporting System (DEERS), which will qualify them for medical coverage, commissary privileges and other military benefits.

One thing to watch for – if you are subject to a Permanent Change of Station (PCS) order – if you get married before the change of station, you can have your spouse added to your orders and the military will cover the cost of relocating them (including their possessions).

You can leave your old base, take time off to get married and have a honeymoon and then report to the new base – the trigger is whether you have reported to the new station. If you wait until after you report to the new duty station, you end up paying for the cost of moving your spouse.

If you have any issues or questions on getting married while serving in the military, check out the information available from your Base Personnel HQ and the various booklets from the U.S. Department of Defense and your service branch.

The issue of homosexuals in the military has raised eyebrows of disagreement for some and nods of agreement for others. Those who oppose it have emphasized two points- one is that conservative heterosexuals may feel uncomfortable working with them, such that their performance will decrease as well. This argument is basically alluding to the ‘cohesiveness’ in military.

Since, soldiers are living intimately- they do everything together, conservative heterosexuals may be threatened by the presence of someone who could take advantage of this intimacy. Furthermore, it was believed that the presence of homosexuals is often disruptive to discipline and good morale of the military.

As Wallace (1994), a US soldier has put it, “When my roommates became a couple, they ceased to be members of our unit in a social and emotional sense. They became so obsessed with one another and their relationship that they couldn’t or wouldn’t fulfill their responsibilities to the rest of us. Their commitment to one another negated the required loyalty to the Army and to their fellow soldiers.”

Second point, as stated by Hackworth ‘military is a life and death business not an equal opportunity employer’ (as cited in Homosexuals in Military). Those supporting the ban of homosexuals are stressed that the military, unlike the civil service, is exempted from the equal opportunity act in recruitment and selection process. This was done in order to ensure that the purpose of military which is to protect the country is preserved.

On the other hand, those who agree to allow homosexuals in the military have used historical basis as ground of their argument. They also pointed out that the creative minds of homosexuals could be utilized in logistics and those involving strategies and intelligence.

In my opinion, the recruitment and selection process on the military shall not be biased by gender. This will also remedy the decreasing number of military applicants. Omitting the gender bias on recruitment shall provide a larger recruitment base for the military.

In addition to this, I also believe that the military’s selection process must be adequate enough to select from the recruited base those who have the qualifications, skills, abilities, and characteristics that shall perform the duties and responsibilities in the military regardless of one’s gender.

I strongly believe that one’s sexual orientation, does not, one way or another, affect his/her performance if that someone is serious of doing the tasks assigned to him/her. True indeed that military is a life and death business and not an equal opportunity employer. Then why make such a big fuss on one’s gender? Just let everyone who are willing to be a part of it apply.

And strengthen the selection process so as to really know, which among them are genuinely willing to protect the people with her/his life. We must be smart enough to know that not only males are the one who could do this- loyalty, patriotism, and all other elements needed to serve the country could be felt by anyone regardless of their gender.

If there will be someone in the military, who is using his rank or position to take advantage of those below the ladder, then there is a need to check the selection process. In any case, why must they fret on these situations? They are all aware that joining a military is 1,000 worse initiations than in fraternities. It’s a test of their stamina, physically, emotionally and mentally.

Being alone sucks, this I know. And being in the military does not help matters any. So if you are in the category of single military men, then you should read this article and find out why this will solve your problem, and stop you from being alone.

When looking for a partner in life, it is always best to find a place of like minded people, as you will be able to connect a lot better than if you had a general website for everyone. And since you are in the military, you had best look for people either in the military, or who like people who are, this will increase your chances of finding that special someone, or at least make a few new friends along the way.

When looking for the right place, you will have lots of people to choose from, along with specific races, and religions to get your proper match.

The main thing you need to do is make sure you are precise as you can be when filling out your profile, so that you attract the right people. The best thing to do is give some interesting facts about yourself, tell people what you are looking for in a partner, and definitely have a unique introduction title to grab people’s attention.

Doing these things, on a site specific for what you are looking for will keep you from being a lone. A lot of people meet up, and either become really great friends, or fall in love, just because of these sites that brought people together.

So, basically, you need to find a site designed for single military men, which will attract like minded people to you, and stop this loneliness for good. Find the right site, with the right people, who have the same interests as you, and you will never have to be alone again.

Want to find the right site for you?

There are probably a couple of things that you do not know about first e-mails. And sure, there may be a couple of things that you have done or will do in the future, which is actually an e-mail “DON’T.” Don’t worry, you are not alone, because a large percentage of online uniform daters make a few “subtle” e-mail offenses towards their prospective match that they are not even aware of. So be warned.

Military Marriage Issues

Most of the time, the e-mail don’ts are actually the most obvious. Even a newbie could tell. People keep on repeating these apparent errors because they are oblivious to the fact that it is a mistake, let’s discuss some of them and avoid scaring off those singles in the process shall we. Here goes:

1. Overselling. Avoid sounding too desperate so don’t go over the edge in trying to sell yourself. It’s a good thing to be bold and stand out from other people on his list but just downplay it a little. Why? Since too much self confidence could be annoying and people who brag a lot are a nuisance. Phrases like, “Girls are always chasing after me”, or “I have guys wrapped around my finger all the time”, it’s your fastest ticket to the Delete button.

Alongside a scoff, a raised eyebrow, and an “I-don’t-believe-in-this-person” look, he might end up having a wrong impression on you, that’s something we would want to avoid, because we want them to realize what a great catch you are.

2. Underselling. Do not sell yourself short. You are a great person and you need to show that and believe that you are. Avoid statements that implies insecurity such as “I know you have far greater people on your list than me” or “If you’re interested, you can view my profile”, or worse “You probably won’t like me anyway”, these phrases connote a low self-esteem and low self-confidence and surely it will get you nowhere. As the saying goes, “People love people who love themselves”, but just not too much, you’d come off as a narcissist. Who would want to go out with somebody who thinks they’re not worth it.

3. Creepiness. Downplay the stalker attitude. Don’t mention everything, first things first, avoid sounding like a stalker but read their profiles thoroughly. Don’t suggest that you two meet up right away in your first e-mail, because it would sound rather suspicious. Nor should you be too provoking or amorous. You’d probably end up in the “Block User” list, and you don’t want that.

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